Even If?

Even If… An open letter to the believer

We face tragedy and triumph every day. Each day that we wake up and breathe in and breathe out there are risks and rewards to challenge us. If I stop there, it will seem if there is no real hope. If I only paid attention to network news agencies for my information and daily intake of knowledge, it would seem there is no hope. But there is hope!

Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks) in the movie Sleepless in Seattle said about getting up every day,” Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... “. Sam was remembering how perfect it was to have his wife alive and by his side. He was stating how hard it is sometimes just to do something that should come naturally. Now, I don’t believe we have to remind our lungs to expand and contract every moment, but we do have to remember and realize that every breath is a gift. Over the last 10 years I have seen more death, more pain, more “Hell on Earth” then I could have imagined. There have been times in my own life when just the simple tasks seemed overwhelming. When breathing in and out seemed like a massive exercise.

Years ago, I was taught that God answers every prayer. His response might not be what we want, but He does answer. So, what if? What if God doesn’t answer a prayer the way you want? Most respond with leaving the church, stopping reading their bible and giving up on God. They, as Revelation says in chapter 2, have left their first love. What is the best response? Notice I did not say the right response, it is not my right to tell you how to respond, but I have documented some ideas ahead.

God does not shy away from questions: Many times in the Bible we find people questioning God. James 1 says that if you lack wisdom, then ask. He will provide answers. Is it ok to be mad at God while questioning His answers? (I might get kicked out of leadership for this) But, YES. You cannot be something you are not. If the way he answers is not what you wanted, it is ok to be upset. It is not ok to stay upset. Think back to Sam Baldwin, do you think that he was happy with his wife dying? Do you think, if this was a real scenario, that Sam would have been mad at God? Yes! I have friends that have lost their spouses, lost children or parents to death and I have heard people say to not be mad at God. I say stop that, we are not perfect. The key is to be mad, ask forgiveness and then be ready for God to teach you how to live and grow through your situation. Ask Him daily, hourly, every waking minute, how to grow through these times. Ask specific questions and be ready for answers. Seek counsel from wise believers, read the Bible, and start looking forward to His lessons.

God requires us to seek Him: My favorite verse is Psalm 34:4 which says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” See the author is saying I sought, I spoke, I asked. God did not randomly do something. He responded to His child seeking Him. Over and over the Bible calls us out and says seek Him. Do you think the bleeding woman in Matthew 9 would have been healed if it not for her pursuit of just merely touching His garment? No, she actively sought Him for an answer.

God requires us to trust Him: Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” This is hard, especially if you feel He has let you down. He is not out to hurt you; He is out to bless you. In the movie Sam finds a beautiful woman, through some weird circumstances. But he finds a woman that we are led to believe he falls in love, marries and they live happily ever after. It doesn’t always work out so smoothly, but when we are past the situation, we see the blessings.

So, what if? What if He doesn’t answer the way you want Him to? Today I was reminded of a great song by Mercy Me. The song is Even If. I have included a link to the lyric video. Take time to listen and read the words on the screen as you go. It always helps me to listen and read at the same time. It will convict and encourage you. I am so grateful to talented people helping me put words to how I feel.

Link to video:

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y

Michael

An Old Horseshoe

I found an old horse shoe in a creek. When I find old treasures like this I can't help but wonder. What is the story behind this shoe? Who rode the horse? Where were they going? Or, did they arrive where they were supposed to? It's just an old horseshoe, but it once meant something to the rider and the horse.

My wife’s great-great grandfather was a Methodist circuit rider preacher. He rode where ever he was asked with one purpose, share the love of Jesus and the hope of the church. He lived near where this shoe was found. Was it his horse that once wore this shoe? Or another rider that spread the gospel? When I find such treasures my mind wonders to the one that first hammered it out. I wonder if he always wanted to be a farrier or blacksmith? Was he proud of his little family? I wonder if his son would stand in wonder watching his mountain of a man father hammering out the metal. Did he love his wife so much that when she came out to his shop he beamed from ear to ear with a great smile? Did he always stand with chest puffed out with pride for his beautiful daughter as she was always the smartest in the class?

It seems these days I am moving so fast that I forget to stop and wonder what I am leaving behind. Does my “horseshoe” point someone to Him? Do I inspire my son? Do I love my wife the way she needs? Am I proud of the “adopted” daughters God has allowed in my family’s life? Will someone once wonder about my legacy?

I know to some it is just a cool horseshoe, but to me it was a message from my loving Heavenly Father that day. He was reminding me to leave a legacy. The talented author, Al Ainsworth, has written multiple books and spoken all over the South about leaving a legacy. He said to me one day that it was the single most important thing a husband, father and friend could leave behind. As I walk through life and leave “horseshoes” behind I pray that Jesus will use me to make an impact. Not a “Billy Graham” type impact, but a small voice that helps those around me.

Michael

6 years later

FYI… The picture is from 6 years ago today.

I don’t know why every year I get emotional today. 6 years ago I laid all day on an operating table as they took out cancer from my neck. Thyroid, jugular, 30 lymph nodes, and part of my neck muscle was removed. They called it a “Radical Neck Dissection”. Surgery, 26 staples and radiation later, I am thankful for 6 years cancer free. The surgery was successful to remove the cancer, but unfortunately not all went right. I am reminded everyday with moderate to extreme pain in my shoulder and neck because of all the nerve damage. I have tried a few things that help, but nothing I have tried takes the pain away. I choose to ignore it most days, but today it just seemed to remind me of the anxiety I had when I was told I had cancer.

Today is mixed with joy and anxiety. Joy for being cancer free and anxiety because of the pain level being a 9 today. CBD oil is helping (I will discuss this in a separate post), but only keeping me from going home and getting back in bed. Take time to pray for those who have cancer and who have had cancer. The pain (physical and emotional) doesn’t go away even if the cancer does.

Michael